I’ve Been Feeling ‘Off’ These Days

Lately I’ve been feeling ‘off’. I don’t know how else to describe it. A friend of mine suggested maybe it’s leftover hormonal goodness from my pregnancy but no, that doesn’t seem right. I do have some leftover treats from this pregnancy – some new skin tags and a different shoe size (just one foot, I think), but this ‘off’ feeling isn’t part of that.

It’s like feeling like I’m missing something: the point, the train, something like that. These past few months have been jam-packed. Sure, I’m back to doing the diaper thing and breastfeeding at inopportune times like school pick-ups. But that part hasn’t felt as busy as my work life. Since December I have been handed one opportunity after another in several areas I have been wanting to explore: freelance writing, marketing/public relations, speaking and on top of that, of course, the What If…? book decided it was time to be launched into the world. (If you think book-birthing is always planned, think again. It’s much like child-birthing…you know it’s going to be some time around a given date and then all of a sudden there’s the urge to push – and heaven help you if you try to stop it.) I have no idea how this is all happening or how it’s unfolding, but as I said the other day on Facebook: “Do your freaking best to get ‘er done, and the Universe will provide you with a freaking miracle.” Of that, I have never been more sure.

I still have a few hairy weeks to go. Between now and May 31 there are 6 put-myself-out-there events/projects to be carried out. Again, I don’t know how that happened and as an introvert, these things feel enormous. When I was pregnant, I knew I had to keep somewhat busy with my work or I’d lose my mind (as I learned from child #1 and which benefited me greatly with child #2). But it’s somewhat comical that the minute I pushed her out (ok, honestly, it was a little later that same day) I got my first email that started this snowball, inviting me to submit an article to the Conscious Divas blog.

It has been an incredible learning process. It’s like the first half of this year is about taste-testing the various avenues I’ve been considering along this new career path, and I am very quickly able to say yup, or nope, to where I want the rest of the year to go. I just have no way of explaining how this is happening. In one of our devotional songs, there is a line ‘je je mangu, te tuhi deve’ which means ‘Whatever I ask for, that’s what you give me’. And I am grateful. Because even though I am in the thick of it right now and feeling slightly (read: totally) out of my comfort zone, I feel I am better equipped to make certain choices.

Sometimes feeling ‘off’ is not a bad thing. It’s a strong directional that, if you take a step back, you can truly appreciate. I’m looking forward to getting ‘er done and invite the Universe to send the miracles along the way. I see the second half of 2014 being better off for it.

6 thoughts on “I’ve Been Feeling ‘Off’ These Days

  1. Hi Taslim,
    Feeling off has a very definite place for us all earthlings. I cannot imagine living ‘on’ all the time. Some of our most creative energies have been preceeded by an ‘off’ period. It is a blessing that we can recognize it when we are not totally ‘on.
    Don’t forget to take those power naps though, just in case this is other than a mind thing.
    Love, always,
    dad

    1. Thanks, Dad! A nap sounds amazing…in the meantime, though, it seems the Universe reads my blogs – or at least my mind. Since posting this blog, a couple of the commitments I had made that were unsettling have changed to align better with my values and my ‘makeup.’ These next few weeks now don’t seem as daunting. Whew!

    1. Thank you, Farrah! So great to hear from you! Hope you are doing well and looking forward to a restful summer period!

  2. I can relate to the ‘introvert’ part and the pressure/work to put yourself out-there. That also plays a stress or mood changing role in your life.

    But your’ll get through it and will notice you will feel better after.

    1. Hi Nadia! Yes, the irony is that my work requires me to be on stage or vulnerable on the page – and I absolutely want to do this because it truly makes me feel alive. As an introvert, though, I need to be mindful of sufficient recharge periods and I think I didn’t factor that in when scheduling April and May. So, something was just reminding me! Also, I notice that if I commit to something that is not totally aligned with my values or doesn’t make my heart sing, I feel it right away and it shows up as this ‘off-kilter’ feeling. Thanks for stopping by and sharing!

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