Good morning and happy Friday! I hope the sun is shining where you are as it is here! The sound of a hedge trimmer across the street is like music, and so was the woodpecker drumming on my roof this morning! What sounds tell you that Spring has arrived?
Today I welcome Michelle Muckala, who is eager to share with you a secret to her sanity as a working mother. She has a fabulous site with a gazillion resources for moms on the go (what other kind of mom is there, really?) so I do hope you pay her a visit after reading this gorgeous post.
Without further ado, here’s Michelle!
One of my best kept secrets to the success of a working mom’s day is our bed time routine. At first it was a huge adjustment, but once we established this routine, fighting to go to bed became a thing of the past. The girls actually look forward to this time, as do I.
An evening routine is critical to organizing nighttime chaos that can come with bedtime. Even if we have an evening activity that interferes with our routine, we still do basically the same things when we get home, only in a time-condensed fashion. What makes an evening routine beneficial to everyone is the fact that it is time set aside just for me and my kids. There’s no working, no cleaning, no cooking, and no distractions; I don’t even answer my phone.
Our bedtime routine starts off with a nighttime snack around 6:30.
Followed by getting our jammies on. Usually this turns into a competition; me and Claire, my toddler, against Kendall, my seven year old, to see who can get their jammies on first. Then we plunk down on the couch to read a book.
This is followed by all three (ahem…four) of us cramming into our small bathroom. Claire likes to start off by breaking off twenty pieces of toilet paper to blow her nose.
We floss, brush our teeth, and wash our faces. Sometimes we have music playing and it’s not uncommon for us to break out in a mid-brushing jam. The kids don’t even realize that technically, they are doing one of their “chores”.
Then we all say our goodnights at the foot of Kendall’s stairs. Kendall goes upstairs to get books ready, Claire and I give goodnight kisses to pictures on our walls of those who are no longer with us. She has a drink of water and down she goes without fuss. I head upstairs to read to Kendall, tuck her in, and say our goodnights. Again, no fuss.
The girls know that if there is any fussing when they are down it will be ignored; that is why we have no issues.
Routine takes time to establish so give your kids a chance to get used to it. Once you have it down it will be so worth the beginning effort, especially for you working moms who spend your days away from your kids. Once the kids are in bed, you can spend the rest of your night however you choose and it will be without guilt. You just spent quality time with your kids without distraction – they got undivided, individualized attention from you. And you don’t have the “mean mom” guilt that comes after having to yell or stress to get them down for sleep-it’s truly peaceful.
Do you have a bedtime routine or do you just wing it? Comment below and share your story~
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Hey Taslim,
How do you deal with kids who will not sleep on their own?
My opinion about anything ‘parenting’ related is do what’s right for you and your family. If your kids sleep with you and you don’t mind, then don’t worry about the fact that other people might be saying that that’s not ‘normal’ or ‘right’. If it drives you crazy and makes you want to pull all your hair out, then I would probably ask a sleep consultant. We did the ‘let them cry it out’ thing when they were both babies. We started earlier with Aariz (6 months) than we did with Inaya (14 months), probably because we had more guts by that time. Perhaps Michelle has a response to this as well? Good luck!
Thank you so much for this opportunity! It really is an honor to be featured on your site. You have such great advice and tools so I’m humbled to be seeing my article on here!
I second you Taslim, I think each parent has to do what works for the family. I do want reiterate the word family; meaning do not forgo your marriage over this. I have had friends who are co-sleepers with husbands totally on board and their kids are happy and sleeping on their own now, their marriage is fine. I’ve had co-sleeping parents whose husbands were not on board but forced to feel guilty by their wives about wanting their children in their own beds-their marriages suffered.
If your child will not sleep in their own bed and you want them to-here is a suggestion if you are comfortable. It’s what I did with my oldest when she was two-never had troubles and then bam, wouldn’t sleep in her bed (I had this happen every now and then but didn’t have a routine with my first like I do now). I picked two nights that I was okay with having little sleep. And then I put her down and sat outside her door. I continually put her in her bed over, and over, and over, and over. Sometimes I would put her down and she’d get back up. It’s VERY frustrating so make sure you are ready to be patient because this went on for hours. I didn’t say a word to her either. And over time she eventually got tired and feel asleep, and to my bed I went. The same thing happened the next night but not as long, and after just a couple nights there was no fuss (but watch for them to test it-and you do the same thing). But having a routine will help with this-just make sure the routine is the same every single night so they know bed time is coming, and stick to your guns about putting them back in bed if they get out. If you get tired and say fine, come to my bed, after an hour, they will fight that long every time because they know you will give in.
Sorry so long 🙂 But hope that helps!