The other day, someone asked me, “Do you ever feel that you’re jinxing things when you write what you’re doing on Facebook?”
Jinx. There is so much wrapped up in that word for me; jinx and fear have been like evil sisters who have followed me down corridors, snickering at my pursuits, gripping me with icy fingers in the dead of the night, and lingering in shadows even on the brighter days.
Growing up, I internalized a fair number of messages, many of them fear-based. There is no one to blame, nobody held me down and said, “Listen, little girl, the world is a scary place and if you try to rise above it you’re going to pay.” But somehow, I decided that if I shine too bright or share too much of my true Self, I’d be labelled a braggart and be outcast.
There have actually been times when I’ve wished away good fortune because I felt it was better than living under the scrutiny of others, evoking their negative emotions – and perhaps if I was bestowed with too many “good things”, I’d have a “jinxed” life of loneliness, misery and shame.
So the question posed instantly slapped me in the face with the following that I’ve grappled with:
- Is it wrong to tell people when something good happens to me?
- If someone is jealous or displeased with the happiness in my life, am I at risk of losing it all?
- How can I be proud of myself without appearing proud? (Two definitions here…one means having pride and the other means arrogant…why does English do this to us?)
I have been sharing more of myself on Facebook and through this blog – the great things and the painful things, EVERYthing that makes my life an amazing human experience. I had a lot to respond to this person and I surprised myself at how strong my convictions are – and best of all, how much they’ve changed in a very short time.
I discovered I knew how to answer these questions above in a way that is Truth for me.
Is it wrong to tell people when something good happens to me? NO.
I share my joys for several reasons – and in no particular order, they are: I believe that things like happiness, joy, hope, inspiration are “contagious”, and I hope to spread these like nobody’s business. I trust that the people I have attracted to my life are truly supportive of me and want to know what I’m doing, just as I love hearing from them. I also strongly believe that the human experience is about sharing all the goods, the bads, and the uglies so that we can get through them together, learn together and grow together. And, if I don’t share about the books I’ve written in the hopes of helping others, or the opportunities that I am taking to serve my purpose…then what good am I doing for anybody? If everything that happens to me is for my Highest Good, which is the same as everyone else’s Highest Good since we are all One, then where’s the fear in sharing?
If someone is jealous or displeased with the happiness in my life, am I at risk of losing it all? NO. I trust this now like I have never done so before in my life. I can’t explain it. I have just removed that power from others and so it no longer exists. Nobody has that kind of power over anybody. We are all safe and wished well by the Universe. When something happens that is painful or crappy, it is not because I did anything wrong or someone sat there for hours wishing it on me. It’s simply another experience.
How can I be proud of myself without appearing proud? My answer for this is two-fold. First of all, if I truly have good intentions about sharing my accomplishments, it’s not the same as bragging. Informing vs. rubbing someone’s nose in something are two different things. So if my intentions are good, then I’ve done my part. The rest is up to the reader/the listener. How my news is received depends on the lenses worn by that person.
If my news invokes jealousy in the other person, I think that is a clear signal to them to look to their own life. It’s actually a really good thing! Emotions like anger and jealousy tell us that we are not happy with something in our lives and we need to make a change. There’s nothing wrong with that. I spent a very long time feeling frustrated – and blaming everyone else for it. Remember the box I built for myself? So now I’ve learned that as soon as I start pointing fingers at people or circumstances that are “making me feel _____” (insert negative emotion here) I need to look to myself and figure out what my Soul is really trying to tell me. And often the answer will lead me to adding something else joyful in my life.
We are all fabulous, miraculous, purposeful and passionate beings – putting ourselves in boxes, hiding our true Selves from the world, giving in to fears and fear-based ideas like “jinxes” go against our nature. We’re conditioned to do these things and then spend so much of our adult lives wondering why we’re unhappy or why things aren’t working out the way we thought they would. That’s OK. Acknowledge these fears and learn from them. Even they have their place.
I am truly humbled to be here, on this planet, in this life, in your inbox…and getting to know who YOU are is completely my honour. In fact, I’ve made it part of my life’s work to do so. What are YOUR thoughts on jinxes, fears, sharing yourself completely?
If you’d like to inspire others with this post, please pass it on with some social media love. If you don’t see the buttons below, click on the title of this post and they will magically appear at the bottom.