You don’t need to beat me down with shame when I cause someone pain. The ammunition I am capable of shelling out on myself is quite lethal, actually. So, if I’ve ever hurt you – even if you’ve forgiven me – you can bet that I’m probably still in the process of letting myself off the hook.
I’m not sure why I’m the last person I can give a break to. Relatively speaking, if someone tells me they’re sorry, I’m quick to accept their sincere apology. In such an event, I have gotten better at expressing how I would like the situation to be different going forward; for example, if somebody hurts me with their dishonesty (ooooohhhhh, why do people lie??) and if it’s a relationship I truly wish to mend, then I have no problem laying down my expectations for the rest of our journey. This new-ish habit has allowed me to restore ties and create closer friendships. I feel good that I’ve let bygones be bygones and that something more beautiful has come of that.
But I’m still carrying baggage from high school, regretting certain things that the other party probably no longer even gives thought to. I’d be grateful if that were the case…but I’m still left with questioning my actions and considering myself weak for handling things the way I did. What’s really crazy is that if a dear friend of mine, someone I love, was holding on to the same thoughts…well, I’d give her a swift kick in the pants! I really would. And then of course, I’d hug her and tell her I love her and that she is a wonderful person for just being who she is – never intentionally hurting anybody, but making mistakes just like anybody else. And I’d tell her to Let. It. Go.
Loving myself means doing the same for me. Hmmm…not as easy as loving myself like last week with the strawberry moisture masque, or nourishing my body with water.
And honestly, I’m not sure I can do it within a week! So, I’m going to be easy on myself but commit to laying to rest the burdens I’ve been carrying on my back all these years. Oh for goodness sake – no wonder I have chronic neck and shoulder tension! (Note: add regular massage therapy to my personal campaign!)
What about YOU? Does this pattern sound familiar to you? Easy to forgive others but giving yourself a break feels like scaling a mountain?
Have YOU practiced forgiveness on yourself? I would love to hear what you have tried and what has come of this work for you. Please leave a comment below if you’d like to share a bit of yourself with us.
P.S. The strawberry moisture masque felt really cool and refreshing on my skin – I only left it on for about 10 minutes because it was kind of runny and tickly as it slid around on my face! Plus, my cousin told me she thought it was turning my skin pink, and not in a rosy kind of way! After washing it off, and breathing a sigh of relief that I didn’t look clown-ish, I found that my skin did feel very clean. And the smell was heavenly! I’d try it again but maybe add more oats or something to soak up some of the juiciness of the strawberries.
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