Meet Marcus – work at home father of 3 children and one of my co-authors in the Heartmind Wisdom Collection inspirational anthology series.  I am very grateful to him for sharing so openly the journey that he has taken toward a more balanced and happy life.  I have the pleasure of working with both Marcus and his wife, Shabena, through our mutual love of writing – they are both in the business of achieving happiness for their family and for those around them. 

Please welcome Marcus!

Sometimes life is Great.  Beautiful house, beautiful car, beautiful family, beautiful job, but a lonely soul.  I know a cliche is defined as a trite or overused expression or idea, but one cannot deny that this imagery of this particular life circumstance is cliche by association.  I guess the troublesome issue is that cliches we “hear” all of the time, successful but lonely people, we “see” all of the time.

After going through a rough period in business I had to sit back and think about what was different.  Why was I successful before but struggling now?  Easy.  I was happy.

Why was I happy?  Was it because I was making a lot of money?   For me it wasn’t that.  It was the people.

The people I worked with became my best friends.  They say you meet your best friends in college so imagine work feeling like a college campus.  It was an amazing feeling to make good money and have a lot of good, clean fun in the process.  Everyday was a holiday.  I am a listener.  When I am around friends I love to listen to their life experiences, words of wisdom, and business advice.  Making friends at work helped me to achieve two goals.

  • Provide Quality work – this was possible because when you are friends with your co-workers you get to know their personalities, pet peeves, and their expectations.  It is a lot more easier to provide quality to someone when you know exactly what they expect.  It creates a happy work environment and leaves more time for play after work.
  • Improve my Personal Development – “When you work FOR people, knowledge and training is scheduled.  However, when you work WITH friends, knowledge and training comes with the territory on a daily basis.”  I believe that when you take the time to become friends with co-workers a comfort level and bond is created and the wealth of information flows more naturally on a consistent basis.

Ironically, during this great time of friendship and business, my personal relationship was taking a hit.  In hindsight, I know the exact answer why because my relationship is great today.  What am I doing differently?  I am being more of a friend.  The more of a friend I am to my wife, the better our relationship.

Why was it difficult to be more of a friend to my wife at this time?

  • We didn’t work together.  This is very common.  It is rare for couples to work together.  As a result, I was creating very strong bonds at work.  As I stated earlier, a happy work environment leaves more time for play after work.  My wife wasn’t included in the play.  Inviting my wife along to all of the social events with my business partners would have been a friendly gesture to her and would have helped solidify our bond.
  • I didn’t leave work at work.  It is very hurtful to a spouse for us to work long hours, play after work, and then come home and do more work.  I missed several opportunities to include my wife into my work life and solidify our bond.
  • M.O.E. Versus F.O.E.  As a man it is very easy for us to think that bringing home the money is the most important thing.  Wrong.  The more money I brought home, the more unhappy my household was because all they wanted was me.  I chose not to be a friend to my family.

Now, how do I solve the issue of business being up and relationship being down or vice versa?   I had to learn to be a better friend to everyone.  Be a better friend to my kids, wife, business partners, strangers on the street, school teachers, store clerks, everybody.

This may sound exhausting to some because the perception is that friendships take a lot of work.  It doesn’t have to.  I have broken down my approach to friendships into four simple steps:

  • Listen
  • Communicate
  • Work Together
  • Play Together

These 4 steps in order, work for every situation and for every environment. Here are some examples:

  • You wake up in the morning. Say hello to your spouse. Listen to the issue that is currently on their mind. It may be “what will the kids have for lunch”. Now communicate with each other on ideas. Now work together on getting the lunches ready. Finally, play together by enjoying a quick cup of coffee along with a short conversation.
  • You arrive at your place of business. Greet your business partner. Listen to their ideas for the day. Communicate by brainstorming a source of action. Work together to complete the task. Play together by celebrating completing another project. Always celebrate accomplishments.
  • You arrive at the grocery store checkout. The clerk looks exhausted and irritable. Listen by asking how him/her how day is going.  Communicate how you relate to their experience by sharing a personal story.  Work together by sharing with him/her how you made it through that situation and help them bag your groceries.  Play together by making them laugh before you leave the store.

Can you imagine how easy going life would be if we all followed the four basic steps in all situations?  Simply plant the seeds of friendship in every aspect of life and life experiences will surely be more fruitful.

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Marcus believes that children need consistent support, attention, and stability.  It is for this reason that Marcus makes it a priority to be a work from home father to his three children—ages seven, twelve, and thirteen.

Growing up with Social Laryngitis, the title of his story in Heartmind Wisdom Collection #1, has given Marcus the urge to socialize as much as possible.  He uses network marketing as his main social channel and as a constant source of income.

Although Heartmind Wisdom Collection #1 is his first published literary work, Marcus has been consistently crafting his unique writing style.  Thanks to the growing trend of blogging and social media, Marcus has enjoyed writing for small audiences.  He also has experience in copy writing for several business websites.

You can find Marcus on Facebook and on his blog.

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