I heard a term on the radio last week: the silent war. It refers to the phenomenon that many mothers experience; as we become more entrenched in motherhood, we lose our identity as individuals. The deejay went on to explain that eventually mothers have a difficult time answering questions like “What was the last book you finished?” or “When was the last time you did something that was fun for just you?” I understand this. In fact, Let ME Out!! was born from this. In another post I will illustrate this point and offer my own examples and suggestions. But there is something else I feel compelled to talk about today. And yes, there is a task for you that follows!
It’s the term “the silent war” that bugs me. Our society is so hell-bent on fighting everything – from cancer to acne, from body types to the weeds in our gardens. We compete with ourselves and our classmates, then we put on bigger armour and grab larger weapons and climb those proverbial ladders till we get to the top. We battle deadlines and stronghold our relationships. We beat ourselves up for wanting what we want and needing what we need. We “fight the urge” and “kill our appetites” and wage war on everything.
You get the picture. You know exactly what I’m talking about.
This week I want you to look at all of the things you are choosing to go up against. (Yes, choosing. It’s always your choice.)
Write them down. And then lay it all down. Lay down the weapons, the iron will, the need to control everything. Whatever ammunition you use against yourself, your body, your significant others, lay it down and step away.
After doing that, after ceasing fire and calling truce, how do these situations look to you now? Is there a gentler approach? A kinder method? A way to accept the situation for what it is and then pour some love right into it?
Start with one thing, then work your way over to another. Do it at your own pace. There’s no race, no one panting down your shoulder, no one you need to catch up with or beat. Just love yourself enough to try this.
I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. What are you fighting that you no longer need to?
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