To say my mom was the best caregiver in the world is an understatement. She wasn’t just a “care” giver; she was a love-giver, time-giver, prayer-giver, gift-giver, and SELF-giver. When she was diagnosed with a terminal auto-immune disease at the age of 53, she continued to give what she could. Her final and most valuable gifts to me were the following:
1) A deep understanding of the relationship between our thoughts and our body: Auto-immune diseases are literally our bodies attacking themselves in reaction to subconscious messages/thought processes. When we give, give, give and don’t honour our physical body and our Self, our body seems to get the message that we are not deserving of good things and treats itself accordingly.
2) The ability to look at a woman, ANY woman, and see her beauty: I’m not just accepting of the way a woman dresses, her body shape, her physical appearance…I am UNaccepting of people who put a woman down because of these things. I looked at my mother lying in the hospital bed a few days before she passed and I saw the most beautiful woman in the world. I thank God I had the words to tell her so at that time and that she was able to respond, “So are you. All 3 of us, we’re the same.” (She was including my daughter in this unforgettable statement.)
3) My passion for helping others follow their passions was turned on and it has been refined in the years since her passing, as I realize more and more how life-altering and even life-saving a passionate existence can be. If I can help other women, and men, find joy by connecting with their Self then I can share my mom’s final gift with others.
Last night at a party, my 4 year old daughter, as always, was the first one on the dance floor! As I watched her shake her little bottom and throw her hands up in the air, I had mental images of what my mom must have looked like as a little girl, dancing her little heart out. Dancing was a life-long love of hers but such a small part of her life as time went on. In fact, I don’t think I understood the full depth of this love until recent years. You know what they say about hind-sight.
It’s hard not to think, “I wish I had this understanding when it might have made a difference in her life.” But these thoughts are not going to get me very far and it’s the same as returning a gift to the sender. It’s a slow process but I am coming to accept that the Plan was perfectly executed in the way it was meant; every action I take now with my final gifts from Mom is making her dance a little more in Heaven. That’s a sweet picture!
So, what about YOUR mom? Whether she is around or not, do you know what her passions are? What gave her joy and fulfillment in her very soul? Does she/did she pursue these interests openly and often? Did she have dreams that she kept aside for “the future”? What are your thoughts on the way she expressed her Self? How has this shaped you as a person? As a parent? Record these thoughts in your journal or task binder. Sometimes this type of material will spark a revelation about why you are or are not taking steps toward your creative goals.
If you’re lucky enough to still be able to take your mom out for coffee and chat about these things…do it! If you think this is not up her alley, you may surprise yourself. Better yet, you may get her thinking about this important topic and start something really great for the both of you. You can find these questions on the Writing Prompts page as well.
I’d love to hear your comments – other readers will benefit from them, too! And thank you to all of you who send me private messages. They fuel my work and I accept them as gifts!